Look at me, I will never pass for a perfect bride or a perfect daughter. Can it be, Im not meant to play this part? Who is that girl I see, s taring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I dont know? Somehow I cannot hide who I am, though Ive tried.. When will my reflection shows, who I am inside? **** I hate to be financially bound. And why should i be financially bound? I want to go Israel.
Posts
Its been a long time since i blog! Woo.. my tagboard must have been 'confiscated' by the provider for low usage. haha. Oh well... who needs a tagboard anyway... but i think i still need one. hee. Hmmm... need to do a revamp in my blog. Some of the pics are lost.. dunno which spider ate them up... well.. this can wait. lets see how.... *** 可可今天的心情很不好。 这几天的情绪时上时下，自己也不知道为什么。 好讨厌现在的自己，好想飞到远远的，把自己藏起来，疏远人群。 对于自己的无能，自己的无力，可可对自己好失望。 千千万万个“早知道”，“如果”出现在眼前，把她的心情压抑得好辛苦。 恩祺的付出，使得她觉得自己好没用。 她，能给他些什么？除了负担，还是负担。。 他，会后悔吗？ 如果。。现在后悔还来得及吗？ 突然间。。可可想退缩。。 可以吗？这是她想要得结局吗？ 她会带给他幸福吗？ 她会是上帝乘他睡着时，从他身上拿出来的肋骨，来完全他的人吗？ 爱一个人，真的需要勇气。。
-refreshed-
Finally, managed to spend some quality time with the king today. hm.. yesterday got la.. a bit.
He brought me to shopping today, and for the first time, he bought clothes for me! Nice! hee.
hmm.. heard that Li Nan Xing won an award and give thanks to Jesus, and the whole audi was astonished.
I think its the astonishment part that was exciting! ha.
Woo!! i was so touched when i recevied the message from Jin and Jas.
Wonderful man! More of these testimonies should be broadcasted on TV!!
ok, got to log off. Tomorrow prayer meeting at 830am.
I promised the king that i will not be late.
Woo.. cannot be late, cannot be late, cannot be late, cannot be late.
(im practising what i preached - lee - haha)
***
"The Queen is never late. Its the people who has to wait."
-Princess diary II
-thunder roar-
Woot~ can you hear it? heavy rain is coming.. and im so happy! Because i love raining days.
It provides me with inspirations and i love the coolness of the air, the freshness of the spirit!
Cell group is going to multiply tomorrow. I will miss my members alot! They are people that have stayed so close to me, shower me with joy and laughter.. (not forgetting those tormentment - haha - but i love it!) and they have always been an encouragment to me to see them grow in the Lord each day. But multiplication is good! Greater room for growth in numbers and in individual life. All the way brothers and sisters! I believe in YOU!
My brothers gone. To Malaysia. Booo hooo~ i miss them!!!
Oh man! its 2o mins past 1! need to log off now. Lots of things to accomplish today.
But first of all... im going to do my QT* with God first! Woo!! rain rain dont go away... come again everyday. (hmm.. maybe not everyday.. i like the sun sometimes.. xD)
I LOVE RAINING DAYS. ...
-quiet-
This happened before we were together.
He was referring some of his friends to me as i just started out my business.
I cant remember the exact date, but we met at City Hall one Saturday morning..
That day was our zone combined cell group meeting. I was leading praise, so wanted to wear a pair of flat shoes. When i open my shoe cabinet, i saw the pair of black shoes my mum bought for me years ago. I havent wore that shoes for a long time. I think i only wore it twice to be exact. So i put on the shoes and off i go, to meet David and his friend.
Everything was going on very well. After the presentation, his friend rushed off to another place. David and i decided to go to Funan Center to browse through the shops as i still have much time left before the meeting starts. As we walked towards the building, i felt something dangling on the right side of my shoes. As i looked down, lo and behold! The sole of the shoe was half way dropping out! Why? Why does such thing happe...
-Rain over-
Today i went to NUS to attend a short talk about the existence of God with Simon.
The title of the talk was [Existence of God through Science] something like that. ..
In the first place, i thought its going to be an interesting 2-hrs talk session, supported with lots of visual aid, by a professor in the university, expecting it to end with arguments thrown around the floor. (exiciting huuh) But it turned out to be a small group sharing seminar presented by a devoted Christian who is working in NUH, and was a medical science student, i suspose. Well, whoever the speaker is, i wasnt disappointed at all. I was more interested in the QnA session at the end of the seminar. It was a good sharing, i would say, though i was a bit lost in the beginning when the speaker gave alot of meaty information which was quite difficult to digest (especially without any visual aid). She talked about evolution, fossils and gave a lot of huge figures.. i was there, trying to figure out h...
... continue
before i go.. i just felt like worshipping God a little while..
Into Your hand
I commit again
With all I am, for You Lord
You hold my world
In the plam of Your hand
And I am Yours, Forever...
Jesus, I believe in You
Jesus, I belong to You
You're the reason that i live
The reason that i sing
With all I am
I'll walk withYou
Wherever You go
Through tears and joy
I'll trust inYou
And i will live in all of your ways
And Your promises, Forever..
I will worship,
I will worship You...
Snow flaks
Lord, You are the fragments of my soul, the Spirit of my breath, and the fabrics of my heart. who compares to You? Who set the stars in their place? "Thus the heavens and the earth, and all the host of them, were finished. And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which He had done." Genesis 2:1-2
And yes, God had made sure that the tin...
-cooling night-
Im back to blog.. (by popular demand) lol
Ok.. first of all, a bonkers thing i just did a few minutes ago..
I just had my medicine.. then i was trying to tighten the cap back to the medicine bottle..
I think i screwed for about half a minute, with my eyes fixed on the monitor screen, and was wondering how come i couldnt tighten the cap to its bottle? Then i realised that i was using the mineral water bottle cap (which is bigger) to tighten my medicine bottle.
Lesson learnt:
1) Dont give a person what he/she cannot handle. The person would either be over-dressed or under-dressed with stress. Both, cannot maximized to its full potential. >> The mineral bottle cannot fit with the medicine bottle cap. The contents leaks... vv (vice versa)
2) Manage your expectation! Dont try to fit your expectations on others. You will hurt others as well as yourself. >> you can never expect the mineral bottle cap to fit into the medicine bottle.. vv
3) Cap...
This post is dated at 23rd June 2004. It was the missing page from this blog.
***
I had a dream.
I was changing in my room and suddenly I realised that i did not close my windows. (So i was exposed!) I quickly went over and see if anyone was in sight.. I saw my neighbour (Someone whom i did not seen before in my life) was in his house looking straight in my room. He was also looking around as if like looking for something. He began to walk out of his house and come towards me. I got petrified! I tried to close the window silently so that he would not notice me, but he came to fast. I couldnt shut the window on time, so i hid beside the window. I thought he is here to peep at me, but he's not. He actually came and close my windows for me and protected me.
The dream ends.
My Interpretation:
The neighbour is God. I felt this was a modern day 'Garden of Eden' dream. I was a sinner, i was naked and was exposed to be devoured. But Jesus came and covers me. He ...
-Cool weather-
I was lagging in my blog.. actually was very lazy to blog, but my friend, Jasmine encouraged me.. so here i am... this blog is for her. =)
***
I was practicing flute this afternoon.
As i was taking a short break, i began to stare at my flute.. (not mine actually, its Waifong's) it occured to me that the flute is just an instrument. An instrument is just a 'dead' instrument unless you blow it, then you will be maximising its greatest potential of releasing its beautiful sound within. And ultimately, the melody is determined by the player. I began to think about God. I am just an instrument. If God never breathe His breath of life in me, i am just a 'dead' instrument.. how beautiful my melody of life is, depends on how i play it..
You only live once. Play it well.
Just do it.
-晴朗-
>
看过有星星的贝壳吗？
贝壳一定是疲倦了天涯的远航，
才搁浅在海角的沙洲。
偶然间，被沙滩人拾回来了。
沙滩人把贝壳拾回来后，
按着贝壳的大小，细心地把他们收藏在美丽的盒子里，
依依代表了对星星的思念。
贝壳上的星星，是一颗真诚的心。。
究竞是哪只浪花的巧手，
蓝波蓝涛中，雕你成动人的图案，
柔蓝细沙中，将你无中生有，
把星星雕刻在你白白的掌心?
也许是夜里，天上星星悄悄地把自己的倒影印在贝心上。。
就这样，星心离不开贝壳的掌心。。
就只好等待。。等待着沙滩人的到来，带他回家。
***
雕我心，赐我灵
创万物，造天际
唯有祢，耶和华
Playlist: Linda Ronstadt & James Ingram [Somewhere out there]
-雨天-
莉萨问可可是否坠入了爱河。。
可可想。。。大概是吧。。
希望每天能看见那个人，
有好多东西想跟那个人一起做，
希望能与那个人有个未来。。
算吗？
选择多，是好，是坏？
可可就是希望她只有一个选择。
好的，一个就够了，不是吗？
选择太多，会令人混乱，
到最后不能做决定，不是更烦吗？
就好像每当可可不知要吃什么时，都会选择鱼圆面。
不是没有别的选择呀，就是因为鱼圆面好吃。
就好像上帝，也只给人类一个选择。
要得永生，就得信靠耶稣，
因为他是道路，真理，生命；诺不借着他，没有人能到父那里去[约翰14：6]
我们也别无选择呀。。
可可知道莉萨爱自己，
要可可得到最好的。。
当事者迷，旁观者清。。
可可还是听话了。
+故事如有雷同，纯属巧合+
***
God, dont make it too complicated for me..
-晴天-
可可又流泪了。
又是谁弄哭了可可？(真可恶。。)
可可的好友- 莉萨。
好久好久，没被一个人感动得掉泪了。
可可不知道自己的身份会那么容易就被拆穿。。
但可可还是会把故事写完。
有如莉萨所说的，可可的故事不是个悲剧，而是个美丽结局的开始。
因为可可跟幸福已有了个约定。
老天爷一开始都没有亏待可可。
因为他给了她一个最珍贵的东西 - 她和莉萨的友情。
可可感谢有莉萨。
她也只有莉萨这个可以依靠的女朋友。
可可有时觉得自己太依赖莉萨了。。
觉得欠她好多，好多。。
所以每次都想对她好。
但每次对她的好，都比不过莉萨对她的更好。
她知道莉萨并不会计较这些。。
所以她会一直陪着莉萨完成这故事。
+故事如有雷同，纯属巧合+
***
要知道可可的结局，就要守着可可的故事。
-Quiet night-
Lord I come into Your presence
Here I stand in awesome reverence
Falling before the wonder of Your name
Humbly now, Lord i surrender
This offering to You forever
Take all I am and use me Lord I pray
Make me what You want me to be
Teach me Your ways
I lay down my life for You
Throw down my crowns before You
Given my all for Your name
My Savior how I adore You
Healer my heart longs for You
Jesus You're worthy to be praise
Jesus You are Lord forever
***
.::WoRsHiPpeR::.
-夜晚-
音乐盒。
我喜欢音乐盒。因为它很漂亮，播放出来的音乐很好听。
音乐盒，其实是个蛮浪漫的东西。(啊哟，看太多戏了吧。。)
其实，音乐盒也是个很被动的东西。
好听的音乐就藏在美丽的盒子里。
如果没有人把盒子打开，音乐永远都释放不出来。
那，音乐盒就不是音乐盒了。
它，也之不过是个空荡荡的盒子。
如果你没把你生命中的曲子播放出来，
那你怎么活得灿烂，过得精彩呢？
走在生命的尽头时，才发现原来自己的生命似个空盒子，
就这样，带着一生的遗憾，无奈的离开。。
何必呢？
好好地过这人生吧！
就像音乐盒里的那个舞蹈员，
无论是在哪里，是谁打开那盒子，
只要音乐一飞腾起来，
不管有没有人看，
她都随着音乐摆动起来，偏偏起舞。
不为别人，就只为自己，
因为这就是她的使命。
来，别再做个被动的人，
释放自己，来与我供舞吧！
***
我的生命，我的音乐。
Music, my inspiration.
Playlist: Ella Fitzgerald [Somewhere over the Rainbow]
-cloudy-
可可回到家，发现衣橱里妈妈留给她的那笔钱。
钱跟着两封信邦在一起。。在信封上，妈妈留了个字条。
读了那字条，可可不知是感动还是难过。。
或许是害怕，也或许是自责，觉得自己好没用。。
眼泪流呀流，感觉上好像整个世界的沉重都被披在自己的身上。
也不知到自己还能坚持多久。。
妈妈的用心良苦，可可不是不知道，可可也不是故意让妈妈伤心。
有些事情就是那么无法解释，对方也是那么无法了解。
好无奈。。
可可正在学习了解这世界，让每天成为新的起点。
她拼命的提醒自己要走向前，不让自己再回到昨天。
可可告诉自己，不能再哭了。。
好的明天一定会到来。
***
哭过后才学会谅解，我会学会。。
我的世界。